Sunday, February 17, 2008

Does that include HER?????

So we have this neighbor to the right of us, who has made it known several times that she isn't exactly thrilled to be living next to a family of six. Four of those being rambunctious kiddies. She actually had problems with us even before we moved in. When Ray would work over here at night hammering inside, she would knock on the door at 10:00 pm and tell him that he needed to stop because it was too loud. So we honored her request. Then when we moved in, she would knock on our door at 2:00 in the afternoon and tell me that the kids were playing in the yard too loudly. She wanted to know if we could work out a schedule of when the kids would play in the yard. I kindly told her that would be impossible and we left it at that. Then a few weeks later she came over at 8:30 pm to tell us she could hear our kids playing in their bedrooms! This time she caught Ray after a long days work...and there was no filter. (don't worry, no profanity. But no niceties either) We hadn't heard from her since.........

until yesterday. Her latest request is for me to work out a laundry schedule with her, because apparently the smell of our clean laundry drying in the dryer gives her a headache. She wants to know when she can open her window and not smell our CLEAN laundry. (keep in mind this lady smokes) At this request I let out a deep sigh and just said, " there is no way I can tell you when I am going to be doing laundry. Sometimes we are doing it at 2:00 a.m. if our kids are sick" Her reply was, " I know a normal family only has a little bit of laundry to do and only does it one or two days a week, but you guys are different." I just kind of stared at her with a slight smile on my face. By that, she realized a schedule is not going to happen and went inside.

I have been thinking alot about this situation. My first reaction is that this lady has "issues" and it is perfectly fine to ignore her request. But the more I think about it, the question comes to mind if this is who Jesus was talking about in Matthew 22:39 when he says, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself?" Is it really HER He is talking about? Isn't Jesus talking about the nice widower Ann who lives on our left, who we happily take fresh baked cookies to, and check on when the power goes out. Or Becky and Bill who live on her left, who always take a minute or two to play catch with Benny and Will before speeding off in their red VW bug? Or Robbi and Conrad who live to their left, who I can call any morning and have Hannah catch a ride with them to school. Or even the lesbian couple who live across from us, who work on their front lawn in skin tight, jean cut-off shorts every Saturday. Isn't that who Jesus is talking about. He can't mean our neighbor and her crazy requests. And if He does, what does that mean I should do in this situation?

The conclusion I have come to is this:

I think it would be fine to ignore her request. She is a little bit irrational. But I also think their is a higher road to take, and that would be to treat her as though I do love her, and to consider her needs the same way I would of a family member that I truly do love. And if a family member was sensitive to smell, I would switch to scent free laundry detergent.

What are your thoughts?

9 comments:

Ray said...

All I can say is I love my Downy and my Bounce....

How can you smoke and have an issue with laundry smell? I would think the tar would be so much worse.....

Sara is so good - I really have a hard time feeling any desire to accomodate the craziness...

Kat said...

wow Sara. It would bug the crap out of me to deal with a neighbor like that. Being polite and friendly is one thing but having a laundry schedule is a whole different ball game. You're a better person than me :)

HENDERSONYAN, INC. said...

I think your neighbor is on crack. When she gets too much of it, she starts hallucinating or something. Is she crazy? A laundry schedule. Wow.

You are so nice to even listen to her crazy requests. I would have told her to stop coming or I will call the cops for harrassment. Well, maybe not that bad but somewhere around there. I highly doubt she can hear the kids play in the bedrooms ?!. Is she just sitting in dead silence and listening in on stuff??

I am sorry she is annoying you. I dream of a day when i won't have neighbors next to me, especially ones that make your life so hard.

Julie said...

I would tell her that you are sorry that the smell of fresh clean laundry is bothering her and that you would be happy to work out a schedule as soon as she stops smoking because that smell is harmful to your children. I thinks you should say that in the nicest possible way.

Maureen said...

I think noise should be allowed from 7:00am - 10:00pm, like in college dorms. This can be your rule, and you follow it...and if she complains, you know that you are following the rules. I do laundry every day, and I only have 1 child. So I guess my family isn't normal either.

I'm proud of you for trying to think of a solution to an impossible situation.

terica said...

I don't even know what to say about this post. I mean I cannot believe people like her. It is funny, I am sure ALL of your other neighbors on your whole street think you guys are the cutest greatest family on the block. People who try to make up things to have issues with really do have serious issues.

I honeslty think this lady is in a serious need of help and love. She probably just comes over so much because she is longing for some personl contact or something.

You are SO nice and SO sweet to even consider her feelings. That fits your personality. She is lucky you are her neighbor anyone else would have gone postal on her by now!

Michelle said...

This is so crazy! You say she is a "little bit irrational?" Definitely a lot irrational! That girl is crazy. You are a better neighbor than I. You are taking this with a really good attitude. I would not even answer my door.... or tell her to quit coming over and asking for these crazy requests. Does she have any kids? How old is this woman? She has some SERIOUS ISSUES to say the least. Seriously, this post really made me laugh. You are really good thinking of what Jesus would want you to do. Oh and I don't think he would want you to put your kids on a play schedule or you on a laundry schedule. I think the smile you gave her at the door is exactly what He would want you to do.

Annee said...

It's the only way to deal with such a crazy situation, to try to find a deeper meaning. I think she's lonely. Smiling and being polite at the door is possibly more than what she received as a child, which is probably where this all comes from. So keep up the smiles at the door. And never stop thinking of the deeper meaning.

Brooke said...

i think you're right in your conclusion. we're supposed to love our ENEMIES. (why? i don't know)

and when you love, then you're free. you don't have to feel guilty for anything because you know your actions are coming from the right place.

although there is a part of me that thinks you should go over to her house and say, "could we work out a schedule of your smoking? we can smell it and-- this being liberal california and all-- i don't think it's legal for you to be ingesting my hyper kids with second-hand smoke... in fact lady, maybe they are hyper because of the second hand smoke. so about that schedule..."